Monthly Archives: April 2013

L.A. Clippers: Flop Gods

By Jake Sweltz

This post is inspired by Grantland’s Zach Lowe, who yesterday indirectly labeled the Clips “flop gods of the NBA.”  I loved the phrase so much, I figured I’d hunt down some of the team’s Greatest (greatly exaggerated) Hits.

ryan-hollins

Solid start, Ryan Hollins.  Way to kick things off on a good note.  I feel like in another life Hollins would have made a great putty.

chris-paul-ham

Chris Paul’s first entry here is quite a doozy.  When I first saved this GIF to my laptop, I titled it “CP3 is a ham,” which pretty much sums it up.  I love how DeMarcus Cousins doesn’t even realize what is happening until Paul is already in Act III of his performance.

barea-steamroll

Apparently, taking mild contact from J.J. Barea is equivalent to being flattened by rush hour traffic.

meet-joe-black

Or maybe CP3 was just having a “Joe Black” kind of day.

griffin-whoa

To be fair, Griffin really did almost take some serious elbow action to the face here.  Still, the exaggerated back arch is vintage flop material.  Plus, Nene’s subtle stink-eye after the fact is priceless.  Also priceless?  Blake’s “nobody saw that” recovery immediately following the botched flop.

griffin-khan

“KHAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!!!”

But wait a second…this seems too familiar.  Griffin couldn’t possibly have perfected a technique of this caliber on his own.  I’ve seen it before.  But from who?

evans-classic

Reggie.  Effing.  Evans.

Of course, how could I have missed it?  Check out that crisp snap of the neck.  Only one man could be responsible for such impeccable self-whiplash.  And that arm-flailing, I mean, it’s just beautiful.  Poetry in motion, a visual symphony of flimflammery.

chris-paul-twirl

Nice form here from Chris.  The twirl is a strong flourish.  It seems that before Reggie packed his bags for Brooklyn, he taught his former Clipper teammates everything he knew.

But why would you bother listening to a concert pianist perform Chopin when you can watch the maestro himself at work?

evans-incidental-screen

Clearly, the Los Angeles Clippers made a grave mistake when they traded away this virtuoso.  Alas, he’s now cross country, flopping a new team into the NBA spotlight.  And though Evans has recently been credited for other overrated, non-fraudulent skills like “defense” and “rebounding,” let us never forget where his true value lies.

griffin-slide

Sir Evans has trained you well, young prince.

(all .gifs via Google search)

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